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Preventing miscommunication does not make your relationship easier – despite what most people think. While noble, miscommunication is a fact of life and what matters more is how to repair from inevitable miscommunication.
You want your partner to understand you to get what you’re upset about and help you feel better, seen, loved. Yet, there are so many demands on couples these days with the responsibilities of work, home, and family.
Poor communication can leave you feeling alone and without hope.
When you are not a priority to your partner, even the dog seems to be higher up on the list than you? Why do the smallest remarks always lead to WWIII?
Now, Imagine waking up in the morning and sharing a hug, smooch, and “I love you.” That’s the goal (together).
Why did you choose your partner? Right now, you have a gut wrenching feeling about your future together. You feel unseen, unloveable, unwanted, and not good enough. But, that’s wasn’t always the case – and it doesn’t have to be like that forever.
What if your partner said, “Ah thanks honey, that means a lot to me to hear that” and then gives you a big hug?
Maybe they even say, “I know I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate everything you do.” How would THAT make you feel?
You probably have bought at least one self help book or done midnight Google searches about how to fix your relationship. There’s so much “advice” out there, but how to even begin can feel overwhelming. Plus, how often does that advice bomb.
Getting advice from friends, family, and coworkers always seems to backfire.
Everyone thinks they have the best advice/ They say “oh, just try this. So easy!” They don’t know how hard MY relationship is!!! So, you decide to find a couples therapist. But, how are you possibly supposed to figure out who is good and who is not? It helps to call a group practice where you have multiple options in one location.
The trick is that you ACTUALLY need to FEEL the gratitutde.Lip service doesn’t work and your partner senses the difference. So it may take a few minutes of your time to come up with something. This time is a huge investment in your relationship. Finally, put your seatbelt on when you express your gratitude. If this is a new thing you are doing then your partner may be taken off guard, suspicious, and bristle up if not shoot you outright with an arrow. This is to be expected. You just took a huge risky step towards improving things.
Sometimes thinking of one thing you feel true gratitude to your partner for can be hard. That’s when you stick with the real basics, like these examples:
At the Center for Improving Relationships we use the most effective treatment for couples called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT or EFT).
We help you understand where the breakdown is in your communication patterns and how to communicate in productive, loving ways that really says to each other “Hey, I love you. You are enough. You are loveable.”
Couples often feel relief within the first six weeks and can’t believe how quickly things start to turn around.
We are not only therapists, we are people just like you. We’ve been in relationships and experienced the same pitfalls that you do. The only difference is that we have been professionally trained to work through them.
All our therapists have advanced training in this area and two of us are national supervisors for others learning this method. We are super dedicated to helping you flourish in what is really your greatest asset.
